The Real Doy Moyer

May I have your attention, please?
May I have your attention, please?
Will the real Doy Moyer please stand up?
I repeat: Will the real Doy Moyer please stand up?
We’re gonna have a problem here.

Verse 1
Y'all act like you never heard a Bible lesson before
Jaws all on the floor like Moses and Jesus just walked in the door
And started parting the seas and healin’ disease
And binding the beast, throwin him into punishment.
And all the fun is meant for you, the dozers, the snorers, the sleepers.
And all you kids who think you're too good to open your peepers.
Bust out my wonder bread... get me a slice of ham
Some cheese and a bed cause I'll take a nap instead of
Wasting my time on the punks who take on me at the
Tables their skillz are fables because they are not able
To beat the Moyer. The Doyer Moyer. They're Moyer Voyeurs.
A table tennis lawyer couldn't make me loiter
Another minute To see you win it. the game you're winnin
And why? Only because I’m not in it.
Sometimes I wanna get up in chapel and just lead a hymn, but can't
But it's cool for Tim Moore to make you sing and STAND.
"Singers should stand up. Singers should stand up."
He must not realize that most of you kids just got done waking up.
And that's provided that you rolled over and out of bed.
With the amount of sleep you get you look like the livin dead
Of course you'll walk around like you're in Thriller
Because your homework's killer.
Or you stay up too late playin your SMASH BROTHERS.
Or you go out at night making donut runs for you and others.
Often abusing and confusing your poor dorm mothers.
But if you can make it out and then back in again
Without gettin caught by Dee, Rene or Mr. Calvert, then
I say way to go. On you I will bestow
The words to the chorus even though you oughta know that…

Chorus(2x)
I’m Doy Moyer, yes, I’m the real Moyer
All you other Doy Moyers are just Moyer Voyeurs.
So, won’t the real Doy Moyer
Please stand up, please stand up, Please stand up?

Verse 2
Dr. Dickey don't gotta use the projector in his lectures.
Well, I do. so BLESS him and BLESS you too!
You think you're gonna pass with just your notebook?
Yeah, right. Without studywell.org, you'd hit a red light
My test would own you, eat you, excrete you.
And when it's over with, I would control-alt-delete you.
And your grade, I'm afraid, you might want to trade.
With someone who studied the Old Testament Upgrade
The New one. The new accord with God that was made
By the blood of the Son long ago, far away.
"On a hill called mount cal'vry!"
The New Testament, that's what I mean, you ignoramus.
The one that's been around for nearly two thousand years plus.
That's been spread around from this town to that town
By men known as preachers who spread it all around
And there's a million of them, each like me,
Who preach like me, use powerpoint to teach like me,
Who are elite like me, eat shredded wheat like me,
May be upbeat, but they can't drop a beat like me

Chorus

Verse 3

I'm like a chick flick to listen to, cause I'm always tellin you
things I love about my lovely wife inside the classroom
The only difference is there’s no applause when I say it
in front of y'all cause I’m supposed to be talkin’ about the apostle Paul.
But when I do that doesn’t make you happy either
and whether I like to admit it your grades don’t make me happy neither
can some one please tell me how i can flee when i can see
that I come into OTP and all the kids have ADD?
I must be dreaming cause all I do is kick and scream and
Try to make you listen to what I say in between the weekends
Teachin evidences and jumpin over fences
And all this work to get to your senses but now you’ve got up your defenses
When class commences, all the offenses
I could list from the dress code, but won’t cause I’m sparing your expenses
Just drive me crazy. So please don’t be a lazy lazy student
Stand up, be proud, walk tall, but don’t be loud.
So, will the real students please stand up?
And tell the guy standing next to you to please shut up?
And be proud to be breakin the rules at this fake school
But since it has the Moyer, you know FC rules!

Chorus

I guess there’s a Moyer in all of us.
So please come forward as we stand and as we sing.


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